HAVE been seeing a lovely man for the past five months. We both love each other very much but when it comes to sex we have a problem. The foreplay is great and there is a lot of passion but when it comes to actually making love he cannot enter me. What is vaginismus? We have heard that it makes penetration impossible. Could I have this and can it be treated? I love this man and don't want to lose him. Please help.
VAGINISMUS is a condition where the muscles that surround the vagina automatically contract when the penis tries to penetrate. This can make penetration painful or completely impossible. The woman can't control these muscles - they contract no matter how much she desires having sex.
Vaginismus is a relatively common problem. A hint would be whether you've ever found it difficult to use tampons as the same muscle contractions can occur. The cause is due to the mind rather than the body. Psychological stresses such as fear and anxiety about sex or bad sexual experiences in the past can be to blame. Alternatively some women have worries about the size and function of the vagina.
Vaginismus can be treated, although there is no quick fix. Talking to a therapist or your GP about your problems is the first step. They can let you know whether vaginismus is the cause of your problems, then give you advice about your body and what's going on when you have sex. The contractions themselves can be overcome by re-training the muscles through exercise and relaxation techniques.
In addition to seeking professional help, it's important to chat through your problems with your partner. Reassure him that the difficulty you're having isn't due to you not finding him attractive. Let him know his support will go a long way to helping you overcome this problem and achieve the satisfying sex life you both desire.
By Dr. Catherine Hood
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